Feel Those Feelings
If you're like me, maybe you have a history of feeling a feeling and then immediately REPRESSING it. Maybe you feel anger, annoyance, but swallow your reaction and give a tight smile.
We know a lot of anger stems from fear, a lot of annoyance from anxiety, and a lot of tight lipped smiles from the feeling of not being free to be honest. So what happens to those repressed emotions? Well, they get stored for later expression. Repressing them doesn't make them go away. I know...it's a suc…
Human emotions are powerful and often deeply connected to our personal experiences and memories. Our bodies hold onto our feelings until we are able to express them. Sometimes we can tap into physical sensations to notice stored feelings.
Do some conversations leave you feeling icky?
Do certain people make you feel like running away?
Do particular subjects make certain muscles tight?
Do you notice your jaw clamp shut or your leg shake when old arguments arise?
Our feelings often stay with us,…
Everything Is Practice
Everything is practice.
Anytime we're building any new habit, it's just practice. It's creating. We are literally creating the neural pathways in our brain for this new way of thinking or a new way of being.
Every time we practice our new habit, we give ourselves the message "well I survived again" "this is what I want" "that went well" or "I'm getting the results I want" and we end up building more and more trust in our new habit and our ability to create it.
The next layer is--once we'…
Mirrors Are A Perfectionists Enemy
Mirrors are a perfectionist’s enemy. We look at it and we critique ourselves. We see what is wrong.
I went to retreat for eight days where one of my goals was to embrace my beauty as I age. What happened was, for eight days, I barely looked in the mirror while I was there, but the rest of the time my reflection was given to me through the other participants who reflected my beauty, who reflected how much they appreciated me, who reflected how awesome they thought I was.
And I felt so…
I think kindness is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. It multiplies in magical ways.
I was recently telling a client about a study which found that the two biggest factors in client success in therapy are:
- the therapist’s kindness toward themselves, and
- the therapist’s willingness to be wrong.
At first, I was stunned by that—it wasn’t anything about clients that determined success, it was therapist’s kindness and openness (and I would wager, self-compassion) t…
Seven Tips for How to Have a Fight
I just had what could have been a very painful conversation with a good friend of mine. It could have been, but it wasn’t. At one point she stopped and said, “This is going a LOT better than I expected.” I wholeheartedly, and with no small amount of relief, agreed.
I was pondering why it went so well.
It was a superstar of a conversation because of these elements we both contributed to our discussion. Read below for 7 tips to effectively resolve conflict.
1. Do your best to avoid saying “yo…
Dr. Jane in The Seattle Times
Seattle Times recently wrote an article about the uptick in patients struggling with post-election anxiety. I was quoted with some helpful tips on how to keep our anxiety at bay. Here's the article:
With the const…
THE most effective way to stop judging yourself and others
Do you notice you are judging others a lot these days? Do you walk around criticizing the behaviors of others all the time?
How does it feel?
While we get an immediate rush of righteousness of being better than the other person, if we hold onto that feeling, it leads to feeling angry and frustrated. Not so helpful for our state of mind…
Watch this video to learn more about THE most effective way I’ve found to stop judging others. And BONUS, it will help you with your self-judgment too!
Do you want to love what you see in the mirror?
If you have a critical voice in your head, constantly telling you how you screwed up, this practice is for you!
Want to feel better? Do a small act of kindness
Kindness is good for you. If you want to know why, and get some ideas for small, kind, acts that help you feel better, watch this…
Kindness is powerful for others too. Here are 2 of my favorite videos about kindness. They make me cry and feel good about humanity, every time…
If you like this Love Note, share it with someone.
I would love to hear about small acts of kindness you do that make you feel good. You can reach me at email@example.com